I would have to say that “Pride” has got to be one of my downfalls. If I am truly honest with myself it is an addiction that I have… Not an addiction like drugs or alcohol, but an addiction that can consume me if I allow it to. I prefer things done my way. For example, if my husband is doing something “his way” I will convince him that he is doing wrong or I will try and convince him that he should do it my way, so it is done right the first time. I am addicted to control! I like to have everything organized and I find peace when I have all my ducks in a row. I despise doing things a second time, because I am too lazy to do it a second time. Luckily my husband is opposite of me and is willing to compromise with my shenanigans.
Recently as I was doing my morning devotional and it was all about: “Letting God transform your perspective.” While reading it I felt like God’s was truth pricked my heart and suddenly I was convicted of my attitude as I continued to read God’s word… I of course was in denial, but I knew deep down that I can be controlling and a perfectionist. I feel like a failure when I don’t get things right and done the way I want them done. In Exodus 20 where God lays down the laws (10 commandments) and in verse 3 says: “You shall not have any other God’s before me.” It suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks… My “Pride” is the worship of myself. Here I am thinking my way is the best way and there is no other way. BOY, was I wrong! I am always seeking God for his guidance and yet I am putting myself on a pedestal and not willing to conform to the ideas of others, because of my own selfish pride. Honestly, I was guilty of taking my eyes from God and onto myself.
As a mom, this perspective is so easy to fall into. It is easier to make meals my way, so there is no mess. It is easier to get a technique down with our daily chores and tasks, so we have a minute to unwind at the end of the day. When our children want to help, but it is easier to say “no,” because we don’t want the added stress on top the countless things that need to be done. It can easily put us in a terrible mood and it affects the tone of our home. So, what does this mom to do when things aren’t going her way? I move my eyes from my ducks that are floating down river ununiformly and scattered, and I do three things.
First thing is that I do is pray. I find so much peace when I pray I ask God to forgive me for always trying to be right and in control and to help me be willing to see other perspectives. I pray about the problem and I ask him to help me have an open mind see it as his will to be done. After talking to God, I feel so much better and it is almost refreshing to be at his grace and mercy.
Second thing is: God’s Truth. The Bible is full of wisdom, truth, and perspective for us. He wrote the Bible for us as a handbook for us to utilize, and use for every situation we are encountering. Jesus was on this earth for us, so that God can relate to our everyday occurrences. I make it a habit to try and read my Bible whenever I can. I downloaded it on my phone and IPad, so I can take it with me everywhere. Whenever I have some downtime I will read the Bible instead of reading Facebook. I started of small and I started off with a daily devotional that only took 5 minutes of my morning. (Proverbs 31 is a great app for this).
When we read the Bible and his word we increase our knowledge and God gives us the Holy Spirit’s vocabulary in our life. When we are closer to him it is like he guide’s us through our daily life. That was when I felt convicted about my “pride” I have read the 3rd commandment numerous times, but because I have built this relationship with God… He convicted my heart for me to realize that my “pride” is in fact a sin and that I need to repent from it and change my thoughts, words and actions. Of course, I am still working on it, but I have been able to allow things to be done in ways that aren’t mine and I do allow my children to help me do things around the house. I try to be patient with the messes that they make, but their memories and independence are more important than my controlling behavior.
The third thing: Having faithful friends: We all need friends who aren’t afraid to call us out on our sinful ways. My best friend is my husband and he will keep me in line most of the time, but my best, best friend whom I totally rely on her to keep me in line and I do the same for her. I depend on her for her ideas, opinions, advice and I know she is always there for me and she listen to me gripe about life and we share the same similarities and although we can butt heads occasionally, we are close enough to take a breather and regroup once we have calmed down. Sometimes honesty is hard to hear and we need that in our lives. My true friendships are from friends who share the same faith as I do. I appreciate friendships that are equally yoked, so that when I do need spiritual advice or prayer I can depend on them to keep me grounded in God’s word.
Just remember that God does not give us more than we can handle and you can do this! Just remember that when things are spiraling out of control God is there waiting to hear from you and he will give you rest.